Bump Ball Soccer

So, Cole made up this amazing (and amazingly fun!) game called "Bump Ball Soccer."  It is quite involved, and Cole added more and more rules as we played the game, as follows:
1. The goalie (incidentally, ALWAYS Cole) stands in front of the net with a ball at his/her feet. The kicker stands approximately twelve feet away from the net with a ball at his/her feet.
2. The game starts by the goalie saying "ready, set, go," and then the goalie (again, always Cole) counts to seven.
3. After the goalie reaches the number seven, both players are to kick their respective balls (pictured above), the goalie at the kicker and the kicker at the goalie.  The kicker's objective is to try and score at least one goal, though scoring both is more valuable.  The goalie's objective is to try and save at least one ball, though saving both is more valuable.
4. When both balls hit, it's called a "slap" or a "bonker." Both terms are equally acceptable; usage depends on personal preference.
5. A goal is called a Mighty Blast.
6. When you get a goal or a save, you get a star. All stars go on your shirt. The stars are invisible.
7. When the kicker scores both balls, it's called a Sky Blast. You get seven stars for a Sky Blast.
8. When the goalie saves both balls, it's called a Ball Bumper. You get seven stars for a Ball Bumper.
9. Games last seven minutes (have I mentioned that Cole's favorite number is seven?), or until a player reaches the necessary number of stars to win. The goalie must get seven stars to win, while the kicker must get fifty stars to win. Thus, the goalie can win a game with a single Ball Bumper, while the kicker would need seven Sky Blasts and another star to win. [Note: this may seem unfairly tilted toward allowing the goalie to win, but Cole is always the goalie, and he's only three and a half, so we're just a touch better at this than he is.]
11. If the goalie doesn't win, he will be sad.
12. If the kicker get three Sky Blasts in a row, the kicker has to hold the Special Baseball for the remainder of the game.
13 (REPEALED). The game can be played with three people, two kickers and one goalie. The game starts in the same manner. Scoring is the same, with one exception: if one person scores all three balls, the goalie does a Fire Blast (see Rule 16). [Note: Rule 13 was repealed soon after being enacted. No game was ever played under Rule 13.]
14. If you fall down, it's called Breaking your Bones.
15. If the two players are Superstars, the game starts "Ready, Set, Go, Superstar! Ready, Set, Go, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7!" The goalie has sole discretion to award the title of Superstar.
16. At any point in the game, the goalie can call for a Fire Blast, where both players show their belly buttons and pretend they are shooting fire out of their belly buttons. (Have we mentioned that Cole also LOVES belly buttons?) A Fire Blast, once called, lasts until the goalie decides the game should be resumed, or one minute, whichever is sooner.
17.The winner of the game gets to hold the Super Winner Trophy (a small piece off Cole's Lightning McQueen race car ramp).

Seriously, these rules were 100% Cole, with very, very little input from Mom and Dad.  We have some videos of Mom and Cole playing, but sadly they are too long to post here.  We've had some serious fun playing this game.  Also, thanks to Dad for taking careful notes during the creation of Bump Ball Soccer.  Oh, and as a side note, the colorful soccer ball pictured above and used to play the game is called "Beautiful Ball," and came from Nana's fifth grade classroom.  The kids in the class used to pass it around a circle, and the holder of the ball took his or her turn saying something nice about a friend.  One of her classes aptly named the ball Beautiful Ball, and we are lucky to have inherited it.  12/13/2014.